Real Good Poetry I was so hungry I was in a jam Could really go for some ham but a colored bird arose who said "follow my nose" So I grabbed it and ate toucan sam The web was once only a wasteland for geeks, But by strange social forces some geeks befriend freaks, And freaks by their nature learn subjects obscure, Then fill up the web with these topics galore. KUNG-FU I could never decide, when I got into brawls, If I protect my mouth or guard my balls, But I finally figured out which way is right, Put my head 'tween my legs and my arms can still fight. Due to bad luck I once swallowed a buck So I sat on the can for some time But my digestive tract has a toll for a fact Cause a shit three quarters and a dime Gather your poop with a scraper, And press it onto the newspaper, Let the stuff sit for a stint, Then peal to reveal reversed print! Like putty with more of a smell, Though it doesn't bounce nearly as well, Pet it just like you'd a pup, For ages 11 and up. Even thought they live up in a tree they can do very tough trigonometry One of them even outsmarted me My god how I hate that mon-chi-chi I wore velour shirts as soon as I got 'em My pant leg had a huge bell bottom I would strut into class as the bell rang As part of Fat Albert's junk yard gang I was out filming zebra on the Serengeti When I happened across a family of Yeti I captured and trained them to act on TV Now they're in ads for Chef-Boyardee Magic is a wonderful avocation Said my father with some idignation But to do it as a job Will make you a poor slob So stick with your impersonations Gabe, Horseshack, Vinny Bobbarino, Tony, Maria, and Chino, Joni, Fonz, Chachi, The brothers Maliachi, Hillary, Bill, Janet Reno To A Man Standing On A Rock With Wings it takes a beautiful image of yourself soaring, to stand on a rock wearing wings. science will only help you get past this point with minimal injury. I was pushing my Hungry Hungry Hippo When my finger unfortunatly slippo I'm not generally a crabby nay-sayer But I lost to an inferior player. I had been stuck on an island since '68 Been decades since I've seen a lady first rate My brain must finally be gone When I found myself kissing a fawn Which actually turned out to be a hot date Unfinished Lower your voice I'm on the phone Said Albert Shwize to Al Capone Despite my... In sci.math, nude models posted, In rec.arts, wang sizes boasted, I added a warning to religion.damned And by the next morning my server was spammed. The package said "Return to sender" Which was me, so in fear was I rendered The bomb in the box will make a mess I forgot not to put a return address